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Not Quite Ready

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The tradition we kept - Christmas Eve dinner and new jammies at Poppy's house

Here it is, January 6th and the tree is still up. The kids’ new toys are still scattered around the living room. I know I should put the mess away, take down the tree and start thinking toward the next big event of the year – K’s birthday, coming up in a month.

But for some reason, I can’t.

I’m having a tough time letting go of the holidays, even though we’ve all been back to work and school since Tuesday. The routines are falling back into place, yet I can’t seem to accept that Christmas is over.

We broke from our usual tradition this year and stayed home on Christmas day. In the past, we only spent part of the day at home and then went to my aunt and uncle’s house for dinner. This year, being that the kids are at an age where separating them from their new toys is a bit of a chore, we decided to just have a more relaxed Christmas at home.

It was definitely the right choice for us and for the kids, but I can’t help but wonder if that’s part of my problem with letting the season end. I’m not sure. Is it that a piece of my “normal” holiday puzzle was left out?

I’m not a person who deals well with change, even when it’s my own decision. I find myself clinging to the familiar and fighting for what I’m used to. It’s just who I am. I know that it’s time to create our own memories and traditions with the kids, but letting my own childhood traditions go is hard. Christmas has been a constant struggle since I lost my mom and I feel like this is what I need to do to heal, but it’s still hard.

Maybe I’ll let Christmas go today…or tomorrow…or maybe next week. I just don’t know.

Have you ever made the decision to break from tradition and start something new with your family? Did you feel the same way that I am right now?


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